Tuesday, 11 August 2015

Sleeping Giants

I'm back. Awake. 

July 5 - 11, I attended a conference of the Primate's World Relief and Development Fund at Sorrento, BC. Sharing Bread. Either side of the conference, I spent time with cousins in Vancouver and Calgary, and a childhood friend in the Okanagan Valley. 

Steve is the son of my Dad's half-brother Fred and his then wife, Bev who with my Mum was an out-law (as opposed to in-law). Granny wasn't keen on her daughters-in-law.  ;-)

Banff, AB July 2015

Steve and his wife Deb took me to Banff one day. Awe!  As I gazed at the mountains I had a sense of sleeping giants. A magic word or a moment just outside of time, and these massive beasts would awaken and rise up. My photos speak for themselves. The haze from forest fires in Alberta and BC added another element of mystery. 

My mind and heart have been playing with the image of sleeping giants and changes that are happening. Internal. In process. 

We all have sleeping giants inside. Right now, some of mine are waking up. Reminds me of Lettie Cox in the pastoral care course in 1990 - "Half the world has a depressive core." I asked, "What about the other half?" She replied, "They're in denial."  Mmm hmm.

We chatted, different cousins and friends of our childhoods. How unaware we were of what happened in others' homes. Of suffering. Questions. Depression. Imperfect parents and tragedies in our lives. Alcohol... the full range of human stuff.

And here we are. Alive. Sharing at depths that were impossible as children and teen-agers. 

It seems one of my sleeping giants has been an inability to accept people as they are. Not as I wish they were or want them to be. I'm being called to let people be. To wake up to realities and stop taking/accepting responsibility (or trying to) for others' behaviour. As a child, we may try that route. If we feel we can control others' behaviour it means someone is in charge. We don't have to face the powerlessness of parents and other adults and even God to prevent serious illness, death, abuse or whatever else created a feeling of chaos within and around us. So - what now - we accept our own powerlessness - in some ways... ?

Everyone has a story. Or more than one story. Each of our stories is different. All are human stories with different details. All lead to sleeping giants within. And as we're ready, the giants awaken. And we just are. More alive. 

p.s. Accepting people as they are doesn't mean accepting nonsense from them... 

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